Observations from Down Under

1-Perth, Western Australia, has to be the only part of the world besides Antarctica, that hasn't been invaded by Hijabi Fatimas.

2-I came across a couple of guys who expressed with much gusto their desire for Western Australia's independance from the rest of the country.

3-They quickly added that national defence of a very long coast line keeps them in the federation.

4-There are some really hot men here, but since my whole family is stuck to me like a colony of stubborn barnacles, it seems that I won't taste any kok before I get to Amsterdam next weekend.

Goy Boy

I must admit that upon assisting in a diaper change, I was mildly surprised and disappointed with my nephew's non-kosher appendage. Even more shocking was the intensity of my sister's reaction when I inquired if the trim was coming soon.

"No! Are you crazy? It's mutilation! It's antiquated! What cruel beasts would inflict such pain on a child"

Having no say in the matter I kept the following comment to myself:

"But it would look so much better"

Bik Kok

I love my mishpocha but if I don't get some KOK soon I'll commit suicide.

Luckily, it's not that difficult:

Nizo: hey man, you're very sexy...i'm coming to amsterdam in 2 weeks...wanna have some clean fun near Centraal Station?

Dutchman: hope see you dain and sleeping can you in my home have een bik haus and on de water hoop see you suun oke you can coll my oke on dis nr 003XXXXXXXX oke huur from you and hoop kli het to you and my nou huur from you to eving Hi ham home oke coll my dan xxpeter. wel day you komming to amsterdam

Two Loves

The mural in my new dining room displays my two loves: wine and naked men.

Pardon the poor lighting, I suck at taking pics. Actually, I suck. period.

Palestine Fatigue

A conversation between two gay Palestinians:

Nizo: Wallah yakhi, I haven't opened the Jpost website in over a month. I only watch Québec news these days, nothing else is relevant. Wallah all I want is to vege in front of my plasma TV and leave the Missile East behind. I have Palestine fatigue.

Friend: If everyone of us does this, Palestine will be lost.

Nizo: No no, don't worry, the Pakis and Indonesians will keep the fight alive. They'll do it for Allah.

Friend: They (the Jews) have an excellent network to keep the Israel connection alive.

Nizo: True but they also have their Israel fatigue. How else would you explain the Israelis who do yerida and come to freeze their balls in this arctic country.

Friend: Yerida?

Nizo: The opposite of Aliya. Where they descend. May they all descend into hell, say Ameen.

Friend: Ameen. Are you on bad terms with the Jews these days?

Nizo: I'm very angry at them. You should have seen my friend Eric's funeral. Not a single tear was shed. I thought they were alive like us. Instead they're zombies. Even his parents didn't cry. Are these human beings? Or are they furniture? And they say they're Semites. Bullshit.

Friend: Had they been Mizrachi the funeral would have been animated.

Nizo: True, wallah the Anglos are anal retentive whether they're Jewish or Protestant. May Allah take them all to hell.

Friend: Ameen.

Nizo: Yallah fuck politics, you wanna see that Jew with the big dick? I will forfeit my Right of Return just to wrap my lips around that Jew-sausage.

Friend: Show me! Show me!